We had been crushing the day. After a week of what seemed to be full of one unfortunate situation after another and our fuses all seemly cut a little shorter, I was determined to turn it around. I got the kids dressed in cute, cozy outfits, loaded them up in their car seats, filled my backpack with snacks and made a stop to treat myself with a Caribou Coffee. We did a full Costco stock up, perfect timing before this weather gets any colder in Minnesota. The kids were awesome- well behaved and customers were stopping and smiling as they watched them give me a hug fest every few aisles.
These sweet little hunnies and I were going to take on one more store after unloading our groceries at home. I was caffeinated and loved the taste of success today.
It was in the meat department in the back of Cub Foods where I realized that I had pushed my luck. My daughter had thought it would be a good idea to crawl on the floor onto the bottom of the cart while I was trying to read the manager specials on pork chops. She did not appreciate that this was not an option as I pleaded with her to get into the cart, not under it. Well this apparently lit the fire and now they were both dumping fuel on it for my attention. I was suddenly holding and carrying over 60 lbs. of toddlers as my one year old son and three year old daughter were both screaming and bawling. This is definitely not the hug fest in the aisle that I was loving earlier in the day.
I am now hauling them both in arms and pushing the cart to remove our chaos away from the man just trying to buy some meat. Coffee creamer and eggs on the way out- that’s all I needed and I am ending this shopping trip. We made it to dairy, only by letting them pushed the cart down the aisle together. We were at least giving the customers a show as I looked like a was herding a pack of cats. Coffee creamer, check. The last stretch towards the register and the two split directions to make a break for it. My pandemic-baby son suddenly realized the freedom of running through a grocery store.
I retrieve the cart from my daughter. I then see my son, as if in slow motion, pick up a dozen Eggland’s Best Cage Free Eggs and throw them over his head onto the middle of the aisle. All I could think while looking at the package laying upside down was, “Could it have been any other item in this entire store?” Of course it was the eggs. Of course.
I am now carrying him as he was kicking and screaming to the registers to become the proud owner of the dozen broken eggs along with my cart of meat, creamer and a package of unbroken eggs.
But now my daughter needed to one up the situation by stomping away to go find the Annie’s Homegrown Bunny Grahams by herself. Now I am yelling to get my daughter to come back, with half of the groceries on the conveyor belt. Everyone now knows that we needed the “chocolate bunnies” in order to leave Cub. Oh and yes my son is still sideways on my hip crying. I was absolutely mortified. And start sweating from both embarrassment and my toddler tantrum workout. I could feel the eyes of everyone on me throughout the store and the busy registers. I avoided eye contact at all costs.
There I was, this was that moment. I was that mom at the store that we all try anything to avoid. I was the one that couldn’t control her kids while they were having a public meltdown. The one holding back her own public meltdown. I just wanted to leave. And I know that so many of you are reading this right now both laughing, shaking your head and cringing thinking of your own moments as that mom.
Then a woman came up to us after purchasing her groceries and asked if she could help. I paused without immediate response. She then looked at me right in the eyes and said, “I am going to help you”. I then finally looked up at the cashier, who looked at me with such kindness and compassion. She also assured me that it was okay and that she was there to help. My guard completely dropped and I felt my eyes well up. That woman didn’t just understand what it was like to be “that mom” with “those kids”, she understood the pride that we all have in trying to do it all without help… and how difficult it can be to accept help. So she didn’t give me an option and I suddenly had tears of relief.
I just stood there, still sweating, while hold my still squirming son as I watched her. She made it a fun game to bag groceries for my daughter as I ran and get those freaking bunnies. They were commenting on each item while bagging… I finally had to explain that we stopped in the meat department as we looked like complete carnivores. I then did bag up one item… actually double bagged… the carton of broken eggs. I was thankful for the comic relief. Then my Cub Angel pushed my cart to my car, loaded my bags into the back and helped my daughter into her car seat before heading to her own vehicle.
I get in the car and sit for a few moments to decompress while the kids were finally contained. Then I called my mom. After comparing stories of being “that mom” with “those kids”, I couldn’t stop telling her how thankful that I was for “Katie at Cub”.
The thing is, I love to be the “Katie at Cub”… the one who gets to give and then can’t help but to share about how awesome it was to have the opportunity to make a difference for someone, to feel purpose. And this is where the magic happened my friends… the “Aha” moment… I realized that accepting help when needed allows an opportunity for someone to give. In return, both receive the gift of human connection.
I have been missing human connection from those outside of my inner circle. I think it is safe to say that we all have been deficient. If you are anything like me, it is easier to give than to receive or ask for help. But by not doing so, we reduce the opportunities available for others to give and do a disservice to ourself by missing out on potential human connections. And I do think it is also safe to say that a lot of people could use a little help getting through these days.
So today my friends, I encourage you to reach out to someone to give a kind word and space to ask for help and better yet, I encourage you to reach out to ask and accept help if you need it.
Thank you Katie for the help, the connection and the inspiration today. I hope to run into you again soon (but hopefully as less of a hot mess!). Oh and I deeply regret not giving you a pack of those beef sticks or a pork butt before you left to your car, maybe next time my friend.
Omg I am laughing and tearing up at the same time, knowing I will be in that boat shortly! I love how you can take such a hard situation and turn it into such a learning experience. This is so sweet ❤️
This is absolutely the best post I have read! Please keep writing, being real and giving us all such beautiful inspiration!