I did not post last week.  

It was planned out and ready to go. But my message wasn’t aligned with how I was feeling. So although I would keep consistent with my goal, it wasn’t meaningful enough for me to share. 

Then I struggled with the words, I still am.  

The complexities of the world are far beyond my capacity of understanding. The lack of control can be numbing. 

I try to focus in on the small successes and joys daily… bright colored book stacks on my shelf, repurposing containers in my pantry, a new activity for my kids, a clean kitchen sink, the taste of my favorite coffee creamer in the morning… 

But sometimes I can’t distract my mind and I try to make sense of those complexities all at once, until my brain is overwhelmed and tired.  

It was swarming with thoughts about COVID variants, vaccines, social distancing, unemployment, inflation, supply shortages, canal blockages, the global economy, interest rates, bond yields, racial inequities, systematic racism, social injustices, addiction, loss… the list goes on and on.  

I then came up with the title of this post, which I thought was pretty clever. And my message was simple: 

To be Efficient while Emotional: Show Compassion. Give Love. 

During the greatest challenges of my life, I have found my greatest strength by supporting and helping others before myself. The selflessness is actually quite selfish and incredibly productive. 

Then I saw the news early this week about Daunte Wright. 

I sat in my rocking chair holding my baby son…who is safe, healthy and has the world ahead of him. I could feel my heart aching through my chest. I turned to my first and strongest approach to continue to be efficient while emotional, my faith. I prayed. I prayed until the tears fell onto his sweet cheeks as he fell sleep. 

The entire situation is so incredibly sad, terrible, and frustrating. I do not have the words and I will never pretend to. But I’d rather risk getting them wrong than not post what is heavy on my heart.  

Seeing the quick opinions, judgement, blame and hate on social media during this tragic incident is awful. Just as it has been, especially in the last year. Where is the compassion?  

Merriam Webster defines “Compassion” as, “Sympathetic consciousness of others’ distress together with a desire to alleviate it… It refers to both an understanding of another’s pain and the desire to somehow mitigate that pain”. 

The system is not working. The way we are treating each other as humans is not working. We need to change. 

I do not know what it is like to be black, to lose a son, to be a cop, etc. But I want to understand the best that I can, to listen without judgement, to put others before myself and to support solutions and ways to alleviate that pain.  

I don’t have the answers, like I said, I struggle to even find the most basic of words to say. But like I said before, when I show compassion and give love (so many ways to do so), I am able to keep moving forward and as efficiently as possible. This my friends, seems like a pretty good time for all of us to do so as well.  

Sending you all my love and keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Especially to my Black friends.

Show Compassion. Give Love. Today, and Every Day.